Thankful Month

Daily thanks has been all over Twitter and Facebook lately. I stopped updating my facebook status about 6 or so months ago, so I haven't participated, but I've been thinking about the many things I have to be thankful for, and so here is a list of 22 daily thanks for the month so far. With more to come in the coming days and week.

1. A husband who smiles at me everytime I come home, or when he walks in to a room and I'm there.
2. A family that supports us, loves us and isn't afraid to show it.
3. A boss I can laugh and be silly and snarky with.
4. A good job.
5. My green thumb.
6. Gap Gift Cards to fix a shopping urge on a budget.
7. Clean laundry.
8. Afternoon naps.
9. Days off.
10. Firsts, college basketball and hockey games.
11. Being someones person.
12. Races in Yankee Stadium that leave you feeling high for weeks after.
13. Manicures
14. FRS
15. Football
16. Being able to buy a house that will take us many years in to the future.
17. Chick Lit to read on the train in the morning.
18. Central Park
19. Seeing Matt get to run through Yankee stadium.
20. Flowers from my husband to celebrate my raise.
21. Big beautiful artichokes to make for dinner.
22. Knowing every night when I come home my husband will be there to say hello with a hug and a kiss.

How about you? What are you thankful for this month?

Porch List

I don't think I could, or should, adequately put in to words what I'm experiencing right now, but I will list it out.
"My Love for You" by Ryan Adams, our wedding song, playing
A robin lifting up on the breeze and landing on the very top of a dwarf pine as I watch
A gentle, warm, summery spring breeze blowing across me
Peonies bursting in to blooms in front of me
The sun, on the sun
Purple irises
Cars on the dirt road
The sounds of birds and planes and cars

Another list for you: What I did on my June vacation:
Picked peonies everyday and put them in vases around the house
Drove in a fast car with the windows down and pop music blaring
Visited
Talked
Watched bad TV on a good big TV
Wrote
Read
Swam, Biked, Ran
Cooked and ate good meals
Let the sadness out
Built some kearns
Sat in the grass
Took pictures
Bought Shoes
Bought Clothes
Developed film (unfortunately I didn't do this myself)
Listened to music
Slept
Ate Marshmallows
Took in every second and moment as it happened.

The best thing, it's only Wednesday!

Cop out, but I love lists!

Well, I don't have a blog really formed to write. I usually have something in my head when I sign in to blogger to post. But I was already logged out of my new email address so I figured it was easier to just log in to Blogger and post something. So, I'll take the easy way out and run off my thoughts list style. I love me some listing!

- I'm thinking more and more about moving this blog to wordpress, things are so much nicer over there, but the hassle of moving the blog would be a lot and I don't know if I can just pick up and leave all these posts behind...I've gone through a lot on this old blogger platform.

- Work is still crazy, although today wasn't as bad, thank God- I really tried hard to not let it be.

- I kicked ass in the 4 mile race I did on Sunday, and I'm so pumped about it because I had a stomach flu last week and didn't work out all week! However, after the race I cooked for a couple of hours, reorganized and cleaned our bedroom for our new dresser and then walked around a bunch and now my legs are tired!

- Speaking of our new dresser, I'm so pumped about it. We got this one from Ikea (splurged for the real wood!) and I'm so happy with it, it is so much more space, like I can't believe how much more space and the really great thing is I don't even want to go buy more clothes to fill the space, and I actually am getting rid of multiple pairs of shoes. It feels so good! (Truthfully for me getting rid of things always feels good, it is just that I usually quickly replace the things with new items). In addition, I went to Anthropologie today and bought new knobs for the dresser that were a steal on sale and look great, much better than the handles it came with. It really is making me feel better and better about staying here another year.

- I can't believe how warm it was these past two days, it makes me yearn so much for Spring. Tease.

- I just found out a friend is pregnant with her 3 child and I'm so darn excited for her, and for myself to get to watch her go through the pregnancy and then get to experience, for the 2nd time, watching her raise him or her. It has been such a pleasure getting to see it happen with her youngest.

Okay, that's about it for now. I have a post forming of my 10 favorite things that begin with K- thanks to Brooke S at Shrinkering Hearts so be on the look out!

Saturday Night Thoughts

Oh hey there.

I think I did a pretty darn good job of keeping the updates flowing whilst being unemployed. Well, now that I'm employed (woohoo!) the posting has slowed down.
I don't really have much to write about now, so I'll break it down in bullets.

Work is good, nothing I can really jump right in to, which means I won't be really able to offer a solid thought/opinion until a few months in.

Adjusting to the job was difficult in the first 2 days, but I'm in and committed and ready to take it on despite it maybe not being all I had hoped to find.

The Holiday season really snuck up on me this year. I think being out of work for 4 months made time do an odd warpish thing where in many ways it still feels like August for me, and that time hasn't moved at all. Then, looking back it is like time has completely flown. Usually I am super prepared and pumped up for the holidays (I love giving gifts). This year I made a lot of my gifts in November, but then didn't do any real shopping, or at least it didn't really feel like it. However, I still have everything I need, and yet it doesn't feel like I've done anything to prepare at all. Weird.


I love Channukah, and I'm so happy to light the menorah each night. I love the candle light and singing the blessings.

This might be TMI, but oh well. I've gotten off my normal "schedule" which left me a little backed up and bloated at the end of the week. So last night I took a laxative hoping it would help get me back on track. Yuck. I was up for an hour in the early morning, and then had awful cramping all morning. I felt like I had a stomach bug, although I did feel all cleared up. Come on, everybody poops! No more laxatives for me though. On an interesting note, when I weighed in at Weight Watchers this morning I had lost a pound. Ha.

Tonight Matt and I went out to buy cupcakes and when we walked outside there was this soft light snow falling. It felt so nice to walk through the streets with him, arm in arm, with the snow falling around us. I love being married and sharing special moments like that with him. As I put on my gear to head out in the cold Matt looked at me with this cute expression and said, "Cutes mah boot" An old little pet thing we used to do, as we got outside I remembered what the responsive part had been and called out, "Sweets me beet! I love remembering the little things we use to say, which were usually on the phone since that's where we shared much of our long distance time.

Okay, off to drink my yogi tea (which told me "Where there is love, there is no question" so true.) and relax on the couch, I'm such a party girl. Ha!

Turkey Day

Today was a Thanksgiving that started a new tradition, the every other tradition. Prior to today it was a little difficult for me to handle. I wanted to be home, helping my Mom get ready, setting the table, decorating the table, baking a cake, making appetizers, canapes and mashed potatoes.
But I let the day be what it was going to be, I went with the flow, I lived in the moment. Not surprisingly it was a lovely day. I had the morning to myself so I could work out, get my nails done and make an appetizer. I also got to spend the day with the lovely people who are part of my new family. I ate delicious food, drank some good wine and played with adorable kids.
Now I get to go to NH, eat leftovers and see my whole family. All in all it is not such a bad deal. I guess it is the whole tradition of the thing I miss, the actually being there and being a part of creating the whole meal.
To be honest, after the meal is served I am always a little bit disappointed that my fun is over. Sure I like eating, but for me its not as much fun as the prepping and the planning for the eating.

So enough blah blah. On to what I'm thankful for. Since I don't want to ramble I'll stick to 10 things about my 2008, in no particular order.

Getting married
Obama being elected
Blogging/Twittering/Facebook because they keep me occupied daily
Wii
Race Training and doing my first 1/2 marathon and triathlon
My family & friends, always- because we keep evolving and growing together
Crockpots and Stand Mixers and other kitchen gadgets
Bravo Reality TV
Exploring more of my neighborhood and surroundings
G-Chat

What do I do?

I've been trying to blog daily, that clearly isn't happening. I think I put too much pressure on myself to really write something, and it doesn't have to be that, right?

My days are filled with a lot of nothing lately, which makes writing something even easier, and yet harder.

Here's a typical day:

9:00-9:30 wake up, check email, check google reader, check facebook,
10:00-11:00 watch Ellen, eat breakfast
11:00- TBD recheck reader, email and facebook a lot, talk to Jen on gchat, wish I had something to do, apply to jobs maybe twice a week since there are NONE
1:00 eat lunch
4/5/6- work out
7:00 make dinner (at least I'm cooking more now that I'm back at Weight Watchers and have time to do it)
8:00-11:00 watch TV

I think my brain is atrophying. Luckily Saturday and Sunday mornings are usually spent reading the Times.

I know most of you 9-5ers are reading this and thinking, that is my dream day! And it is my dream day too, just not after a good month and 1/2 doing it everyday. You don't miss your water...

I once had a hope that I'd have a job by November 1st. I'm just hoping I know about the job on my radar by December 1st.

Okay- to end this on a fun note. Here's what I'm watching and loving lately:

Ellen (seriously, she's funny!)
House Hunters (always)
Tim Gunn's Guide to Style (it makes me think more about what I wear)
Top Chef (so fun that they are in NYC!)
Gossip Girl (how could you not enjoy this guilty, guilty pleasure!)
ABC Sunday Nights (They make for great watching on Monday mornings when I'm thinking, shit another week of nothing)
And secretly, I feel really bad about this, but I'm loving the Pick Up Artist on VH-1. These geeky, awkward, shy, inexperienced, lost cause, men just pull at your heart strings.

Back to the couch!

I'm it!

My friend Leila over at Mainley Mama tagged me yesterday- so here is my response!

I need to tell you 6 random things about myself...

1. I'm really bad at remembering Birthday's, even my Mom's birthday. But there are some random ones I never forget it, including Leila's!

2. I'm pretty invested in The Pick Up Artist- I was so proud of them this week when they had to meet a girl and make out with her, and then all did it! I'm a little too proud of these dorks becoming pick up artists!

3. Now that I'm married, I can't kill bugs anymore- I always call Matt to do it.

4. I have a very green thumb, but I can't keep orchids alive.

5. My feet are always cold, except when I can't fall asleep and they get hot and itchy.

6. I'm really good at purging and cleaning, but there are some random things I will always hang on to, like my graduation tassels, my first 1/2 marathon finisher medal and a wood chip that Matt gave me with a special little message on it about 6 years ago.

Running, Testing and being Sick

I've been trying to post daily lately, and feel bad that the last few days have been lacking.
A quick synopsis since I should go back to laying on the couch trying to get better but instead getting restless and doing things like cleaning the shower.

I've been eating a lot of cupcakes lately, it needs to stop
I ran 13.1 miles in 2 hours and 3 minutes- and now I'm sore. It was a race, not a leisure run!
I got sick basically immediately after finishing the race, guess my body wants me to slow down
I love soup when I'm sick, and dipping bread in the soup- yum I need lunch.
I have been taking a bunch of tests, personality and otherwise over the last 3 days for a potential job- they are HARD! I sit at the computer staring and thinking I'm stupid and what if I ruin my chances and thus psych myself out. Maybe that's why I'm bad at standardized tests. They are mostly personality based so hopefully it tells them that I will be a super star employee. I talk with a psychologists tomorrow about my results.
I love cats, I do, and although I would never ever want one given what they do to my husband, I still am sad that I don't have one to cuddle up with in bed/on the couch right now.
Seriously, as I was typing this Matt was hissing at the cat who sometimes is on our fire escape(We think he lives next door).
I really want a job before thanksgiving.

What I'm Not

I'm not a person who can sit still for very long, and I'm not someone who can just go and go and go without breaks. I'm also not someone who can just sleep a day away, I feel lazy and gross. I'm not someone who can ignore dirt, or mess or things that are out of order. I'm not going to pretend that any of that doesn't make me a little crazy.

I'm not a coffee drinker, I used to be, but I gave it up and it kind of feels good in a self righteous way. I'm not that in to soda, but sometimes I just need a good crisp sweet refreshing sip to get me through. I'm not a meat eater, most of the time. I'm not my best when I don't eat enough fruits and vegetables. I'm not one of those freaks who doesn't like water- how could you not like water??

I'm not a lonely person, because I make sure to surround myself with people I care about, but it doesn't mean I don't get lonely. I'm not as shy as I used to be, but sometimes I still get anxious about new places and new people. I'm not a camp geek, but I attribute who I am today to going to camp.

I'm not hard to know, or hard to get to know or hard to be around (at least I don't think so..). I'm not someone who will hide herself or who she is. I'm not going to sugar coat things for you. I'm not who my friends go to when they don't want to hear the truth. I'm not the girl who has a million friends she kind of knows and keeps in touch with, that's too much work.

I'm not into scary movies, or period pieces (especially war movies). I'm not ashamed to say that mostly I like chick flicks and silly comedies. I'm not that proud of my intolerance for "good" movies, maybe I need to push myself a bit more on that front. I'm not going to deny that I watch a lot of TV, and honestly I'm not that ashamed of it. I'm not sure why I haven't spent more rainy afternoons in bed reading a good book, especially now that I have some time.

I'm not sure how to end this list, so I'll just stop here.

Thanks to brookem for this great blog idea- I hope she doesn't mind that I'm stealing it!

Listing It

Packing for NH and Hawaii, in one suitcase
Preparing to live out of a suitcase for a week
Reading Hawaii guidebooks
Printing lots
Interviewing
Organizing
Emailing
Updating spreadsheets
Applying for jobs
Eating cherry tomatoes from our fire escape tomato plant
Reading
Watching the Olympics
Exercising
Breaking in my wedding shoes
Picking up my wedding dress
Cleaning
Cooking
Relaxing, when I can

When I list all this out I wonder why it is that many a day I'm buzzing around the apartment with not enough to do.

Looking forward to getting to NH with some more room to spread all this out in.

Packing It In

I feel like I did a ton today and it is only 7:30, although that Sunday evening dread is starting to get to me a little bit, but seriously- even actually saying all we did today out loud doesn't remind me that it wasn't that much after all, that's how I know we really did pack in a lot on this hot hot Sunday:

Walk to West Side
Run 5K, and then drink lots and lots of water- thank god they had ice cold washclothes to give us- brilliant move on their part
Walk back to East Side
Have Brunch
Call Relatives
Nap
Do Law School Work (That one wasn't me)
Watch Yankee Game (Partially during my nap)
Clean Toilet
See "Zohan"
Grocery Shop

And now I'm going to make dinner. Niiice.

PS: I discovered today that we now get HGTV HD. I'm super pumped. If the Celts weren't on tonight I'd totally be tuned to that.

PPS: I'm slowly but surely editing and posting all my CA pictures on Flikr- click on the Widget on the right side of the page to go to them. It was QUITE lovely.

Vacation

We drove on tight curvy roads a bit too fast
We tasted glass after glass of good wine and found it hard to believe it was all really that good
We ran along the Russian River
We bickered and laughed and poked fun at each other like good families do
We met the man whose Grandfather illegitimately fathered Ted Williams
We saw the Golden Gate up close and from Land's End
We walked the tiny cramped streets of China town
We walked and ran the long steep hills of the city
We took in a game
We went to where the city ends at the ocean and just drove
We marveled at mansions
We saw the Pacific, and wound along it through small towns with big fields
We saw large redwoods that rose infinitely in to the sky and then turned a bend in the road and found hills upon hills of golden grass that clung to our clothes after laying in it.
We had meal after meal placed in front of us and it was all good, and sometimes of our own making.

And it was good.

What I'm looking forward to this weekend

Sleeping
Running
Time in the Park
Bagels for Breakfast
Feeling like it is finally Spring
Exciting College BBall Games that I wouldn't otherwise watch, but will because they are on in the apartment
Writing
Napping
No plans

The Happy List

Wedding
Wedding Planning- seriously, I LOVE it
Renewing our Lease
Possibility of getting a dog in the Fall
Booking tickets and 1 of 2 hotel rooms for Hawaii Honeymoon- suggestions for staying in Maui welcome!
HG visit this weekend
New music (Sara Bareilles, Jack Johnson, Herbie Hancock)
2 Road Races and 2 Triathlons to come this year
Sfoglia in March (twice!)
And so much more...but I don't want to be "boasting"

Anticipation

I don't remember how I felt leading up to Thanksgiving last year, I think a bit of dread and some worry. Looking back I see how I was preparing myself to be the adult. And, as it turns out, I was. Mom and I talked briefly about last year this weekend and I was reminded at some of ways the day panned out that weren't to be thankful for and how parentified I was at that moment in time. That has shifted, greatly, and I'm both thankful for it and anxious thinking about what it means in the process, it means I'm processing more- and I am.
But, regardless, I have found myself looking forward to this Thanksgiving for weeks. Maybe it marks a milestone, the shift of looking forward to holiday's that were so typically centered on family. During the period of anticipation I have found myself feeling more sad and letting myself feel more sad, it most likely has something to do with events that surrounded the last few weeks, but nonetheless I've been sad and happy and excited at celebrating a holiday, a holiday that Dad is still no longer a part of.
I'm looking forward to setting the table, mashing the potatoes, baking the pies, checking the turkey, drinking the good wine, having Matt with us, the bonfire, taking pictures, seeing my family, gushing about wedding planning, waking up and having the dining room already full of people eating leftover pie for breakfast, running in the clean fall air, the possibility of snow, and remembering it all next year with excitement for doing it again.

Newlyweds

Watching their faces light up at seeing each other
Seeing the tears and laughter during the ceremony
Watching them dance together for the first time
The large smile that didn't leave his face all night
That wherever she was that night, he was close behind
The joy that everyone in the room held for them
Knowing that this is only the beginning for them.


The crisp fall air
The orange setting sun during the ceremony
The rocky top mountain filled with greens and burnt oranges
The white golf carts that we brought her to the ceremony on
The warm candles that filled the room
Red gems, red lanterns and red drinks that gave the evening a warm glow
The stone platform we circled and watched as they said "I will"
The blue sky
The shiny wood floor our feet met all night

Just some of the things that made the weekend fabulous

Fall!

Just a list of thoughts, things, etc that aren't as intense as the last two posts... because I'm not always intense!

1. Although it is chilly in the apartment now and the heat doesn't seem to be working, I'm so happy it is finally Fall weather outside since it is technically Fall.
2. When I was walking with Matt yesterday each of us holding a Hot Chocolate and after me pointing out an interesting store name he said, "Let's cross and check it out!" I realized this is why I'm marrying him, because I could spend the rest of my life doing just this with him everyday and be fulfilled. It was nice.
3. Why do I keep sleeping until 11 when I don't have to get up? Am I sick?
4. My apartment has a whole new feel because I moved one piece of furniture. Cool.
5. I'm going sailing today, and I'm so excited yet afraid I'll be freezing the whole time.
6. It really is the little things in life, like how pumped I was to score a window table in Starbucks yesterday morning when the entire place was packed.
7. I like that the church on Park Ave. near us plays their bells so frequently.
8. I'm hungry.

Week on Squam

Sparkling light on water
Pre-storm breezes
Post-rain steam lifting above fields
Rays of sun through clouds
Deep late light on plush green hills
Loon calls
The white of a loon's belly
Lake air wiping around and through me on the boat
Sun
Raft wood against my breasts and stomach
The clicking of my camera

Before I get in the car for 13 hours

I'm off to Savannah- to see
Kate- the bestest
Eric- The boyfriend, and also awesome

Looking forward to:

Funny conversations with Matt
Seeing beautiful landscapes
Writing in the car
Having an excuse to eat bad food
Watching the types of people at rest stops change
Getting to Kate's front door
An open stretch of road
The adventure

Not looking forward to:

Driving in a car for 13+ hours
Being nervous that if I fall asleep Matt will get sleepy
Criticizing Matt's driving (Doing it doesn't mean I like it!)
Eating bad food because we're on the road
My totally anxiety and pushiness about "just getting there"
Traffic

Look for:

Updates from Savannah to come, and lots and lots of pictures