Prior to making a much larger move in my life, um to a house that I OWN, I've moved this bloggy blog to Wordpress! Come on over and throw me a housewarming party!
Update your bookmarks, reader, favorites, etc.
See you on the other side!
Thursday, February 18
Tuesday, February 16
My Mom told me I could stand to update my blog more frequently since it is her homepage and all. Hi Mom! Sorry!
So, as a fun way of my updating, here's a slice of my crazy.
I'm kind of wrapped up in my head right now. There is a lot spinning around in it and I'm finding it much easier to just let myself go crazy then actually taking actionable steps to getting to a steady sane place. Go figure!
We're closing a week from tomorrow. Holy Shit! We have a storm of things and people to organize and get ready. You'd think I'd be running around like a chicken with no head, but instead- I'm just freaking out silently and wondering when I'll take action. Why am I not taking action? I kind of know it will all work out in the end, I think that's why. This home ownership business and setting up a house takes time, maybe I'm letting myself digest that and prepare for it. I can't always be rushing rushing to get it all done. I just can't. Maybe I'm not so crazy after all.
Also, I worked my frigging booty off to get us a mortgage and wrap a lot of other stuff up to get to this place, so I've kind of just been taking a break from the stress. But I know it is lurking behind me ready to pounce.
You know what always helps with my crazy? Working out, which is why I get crazy about doing it and have a whole blog dedicated to it. Lately I've been working out a ton, it is helping. Want to read a funny story about working out? Check out the one I just posted on my tri blog: A Story . And, a note just to let you in even more in to my crazy- that picture on my blog header? Makes me anxious every time I see it. Why? Because I'm an anxious person and racing really sets it off. At least I know, right?
Thursday, February 4
My blog is getting spammed hardcore over here, what is that about? I'm guessing it is because I leave a link to it when I comment on other blogs, which stinks because I do that in hopes new readers will click on over and be blown away by the awesomeness that is my blog and stay for lots more! Anyway, looks like it is just getting me spam love instead.
Happy February blog world. I gotta say, as much as it already being February makes me feel like it is going to be 2011 before I know it, I'm really happy January is done.
Do you ever have those weeks when you feel like any sleep you get just isn't enough? When you wake up and just want to go back to sleep for many many more hours? Yeah, I'm having that kind of week. My eyes feel dry and tired, I'm walking more slowly, I'm getting in to work late (I hate that!!!) I don't even have the energy to read on the train in the morning.
So how do you snap out of it? What can I do to get back to feeling good? I've been exercising and it isn't helping. I even took a day off on Tuesday and I'm taking one off today in hopes that my body just needs a rest. Or maybe it needs a reset.
Could it be the backlash of all the stress in January? Is it just now catching up to me? I don't know, but I do know that I could really use a weekend away at a spa. Let's imagine it, shall we?
It would be in the Berkshires, or maybe Vermont. The first night, we'd have a simple dinner in a large wooden room with a stone fireplace in the center. We'd eat delicious fish and meat and ooh and ahh over everything. Our bed would be king size and they'd have the best down-alternative blankets we'd ever slept with. We'd fall asleep quickly and not stir until 11:00 the next morning. The day would start with Yoga in a room on one of their top floors surrounded by windows overlooking snow covered trees and mountains. After Yoga we'd head out to the deck and sit in the hot tub for a few minutes drinking fresh squeezed orange juice while our breakfast was made. After a quick shower, we'd rap ourselves in plush terry robes and enjoy breakfast giggling about our rosy cheeks and how great we felt already.
The day would include spa treatments, massages, and lap swimming in the heated outdoor pool. As the day turned to evening, we'd board a carriage for a drive through the woods of the property. Bundled up in jackets and blankets I'd reach into Matt's glove to hold his hand and we'd kiss softly as the sun set.
Returning back to the spa we'd ravish our dinner, spa treatments make you hungry!, and then take to the hot tub with a bottle of champagne and a plate of fruit.
We'd sleep even deeper than the night prior. Sunday, we'd have to wake up to take the earlier yoga class, and then we'd head out for a short run around the property before showering and packing to head home. As we approach the desk for check out, the clerk would see what a great time we'd been having and offer us another night stay for an amazing deal including more spa treatments. I'd call work and make sure they'd be okay for another day without me, of course they'd say, "Go for it!" and we'd celebrate together while heading back up to our room.
Man, I kind of feel better just writing about it. Go ahead, try it!
Sunday, January 31
I haven't been writing because I want to focus more on writing when I don't feel like whining, or complaining or being sad. I have to say, although this month was filled with much good:
Visits from Family
Celebrations with friends
It was also filled with a lot of stress and anxiety. I don't want to rehash it, because I'm trying to focus on the positive and good in my life. A few weeks ago I went to a Friday night Yoga class that focused on physically and mentally opening ourselves up to all the beauty and good in our life and so I've been trying to continue focusing on that. I'm open, I'm ready and the goodness has been coming.
So with this, I say farewell to January - and it can take its below 30 weather with it.
Friday, January 1
12/30 was the best ad- the one that made you think the most. I didn't post about it on the day, because I really don't know how to respond. When I think about ads that make me think, I remember watching TV in London and how much more powerful the advertising there is, much less censorship. I wish I had a good answer for this, I wish I could remember an ad that really made me stop and think, but alas I can't. So, I don't have a response...
12/31 what resolution did you wish you could have kept? Well obviously my cooking resolution. I'm bummed I let that one slide, but it helped me to make a more doable/keepable one for 2010. So, my 2010 resolution is to twice monthly make a hours time for writing.
Happy New Year!
Wednesday, December 30
I was busy with work and play, and trying to be happy in my new job. I was starting to feel restless and nostalgic, thinking back on 2008 and all I was doing at the beginning of that year.
Work remained unsatisfying, yet very busy and I was unsettled as a result. I wanted to have everything I'd dreamed of having post wedding, and at this point it was unrealistic. On the upside, I started my path to faster race times. Mom received the Outstanding Business Woman of the Year award and Matt and I traveled up to NH for the night/day to surprise her. I started Tri training, kind of, and started my Tri Training Blog . I was cooking a lot too thanks to my New Years Resolution. We'd been home to NH a few times at this point, and it was nice getting so many visits in.
As the first quarter of the year closed, I remained in a state of opposites. Matt and I were so happy and in love, yet I was unhappy in my job and the feelings of loss and anxiety around my Dad's death were returning. I think I summed up the beginning of March well in this post. As March moved on some good things happened, I decided I would look for a new job, I helped organize and throw a fantastic Bridal Shower for one of my best friends and Spring started to come...
April was a turning point for my year. I got grounded with the help of Yoga, Spring came and brought with it a beautiful wedding, April was good.
I wrote a letter to Dad to start off the month- it still resonates really strongly with me as a reflection of where we are now and where we came from on this grief journey. I was happy and busy in May. I got offered a new job, I started my Tri season and Matt completed his first, with a wet and rainy one in MA.
June rocked. I went home for a week in between jobs and was totally blissed out. June was a great start to Summer. My running with running buddies was picking up too, it was great to be socializing and working out!
I don't remember many specifics of July, it flew by- filled with lots of plans and lots of fun. It was a good month.
Wow- what a busy month! A wonderful wedding in Boston kicked it off, then we headed to Squam for a lovely week on the lake filled with making new traditions and more widening of our family circle and the blending of families. I took my first train ride to go back up for the Granite Man. The end of August gave me some much needed down time.
The month started with a fabulous trip to Chicago for our one year anniversary! It went slightly down hill when we tried to head up to NH the next weekend for the Pumpkinman Tri and got stalled, literally, just leaving NYC. But then we settled in to fall's arrival and 1/2 marathon training. I had been kind of stuck on our wedding and obsessing about it, and comparing other weddings to it and told myself that I had to stop that after 1 year, and I'm proud to say I did without really being conscious of it. Maybe it helped that we started house hunting!
We pretty much spent this month house hunting, so our weekends were in the car on LI or up in Westchester. We found the house we wanted and then came the stress of figuring out the Mortgage. We got through it though and came out happy and moving forward in the end! I was running a lot and really loving and getting in to it. The end of the month I had a reunion with some high school friends and their kids, it was so fun!
I was settled in to my job, happy that we'd found a house and feeling good. Matt and I completed our 2nd 1/2 Marathon, me in record time. We spent Thanksgiving in NH and I went to my 10 year High School Reunion- crazy!
The winter plans began including a visit from Katie and Jen, dinners out and parties. I found out Jen is pregnant and I could not be more excited for her and Tim! We got a nice big snowfall while dogsitting and enjoyed getting to head out in to the snow with the dogs. It ended with a fantastic New Years Eve party and a very positive outlook for 2010!
As I look back through this on 2009 I see why I'm feeling somewhat, eh about the year overall. There were a lot of ups and a lot of downs. Maybe because the year started off on a down note I sense a sort of "downness" about the whole year. However, when I read through this post I can see a great spike up in the middle of the year and thinking back so many wonderful things have happened in the last part of the year which explains why I'm so optimistic about 2010. Bring it on!
Tuesday, December 29
So today I need to talk about my biggest and best belly laugh of the year. Hmmm. I laugh a lot, I love laughing, so it is hard to think back through a whole year (I don't have a great long term memory) and pin point my biggest and best.
There have been a few moments this year when I've laughed so hard I couldn't stop- you know those times- when you do something, or you see something and it hits you and the giggling begins. You chuckle, you may get a little high pitched. Then, it turns, your laughing, full on laughing. Your eyes start to close, your stomach starts to hurt and then the tears come. You're not crying, now way, you're still laughing but it is so hard and for so long that tears form. And you start to gasp for breath and slow down, but then you are reminded of it and start laughing again, harder even. This continues for a typical 5-10 minute stint, sometimes lasting as long as 15 minutes. And it feels so good. For about an hour, to two hours, after you think of the moment and giggle quietly to yourself and you can't stop smiling. I've had two of those moments this year, and they are both due to my Husband. Once, I'll admit, I was laughing at him (he did too) and another time it was fits of laughter together over nothing special, just something funny we shared. Those are definitely some of the best times.