Tuesday, January 31

Sleep is Good

I feel like crap. I can't sleep at night because the people that live upstairs decided that from 10:30-12:30 they would completely remodel and rearrange their room- every night. Sleep is way underrated. I find it hard to concentrate when I'm sleep deprived, I find it impossible to think rationally, I get overly emotional and take everything way too literally and personally. In short I cannot be be in a work environment. Even sitting here hearing the "work" noises around me I'm finding it hard not to want to shut everyone up and every machine off so I can just relax and not have to think and not have to take in what's around me.
I just looked at my calendar to think about taking a personal day. Maybe even having that on the calendar will make it easier for me to get through the next few days. I don't know. I'm a friggin' basket case.
I wrote a note for the people upstairs. I've tried talking to them- "can you please make sure you take your shoes off when you're in the apartment, especially at night". I tried going up when it was happening and pointing it out, "Can you guys please try to keep it down, I'm finding it really hard to fall asleep". Obviously those don't work. So lets see what a note does:
Hey Guys-
I just wanted to be sure you realized that my bedroom is directly below your front room. Because the ceilings are so thin- I can basically hear every step you take and everything you do- especially at night. Last night was particularly loud which prompted me to write this.
I'm hoping there is an easy solution to this. I try to go to bed close to 10:30 every week night and if you can do what you need to in the front room before then that would be great.
Thanks Guys

What do you think? I think whatever I write they'll take it the wrong way- I think whatever I do the noise will continue. I'll keep you updated. Maybe I'll rewrite the note- its easier then committing to concentrating on anything else.

Sunday, January 29

The Space Behind the Bed

While I was changing my sheets today I pulled my bed out from the wall and stumbled upon a bit of a junkyard of stuff that had been pushed behind the bed. 3 tshirts I had misplaced and wondered what had happend too- always thinking they must be in the laundry, never noticing they didn't come back from the wash-, 2 half empty bottles of seltzer, 2 hairbands- is that where all the ones I lose go?, a pair of shoes I bought cheap but they were fabulous and I still haven't found an outfit to wear them with, and a lot of dust. Finding this stuff made me think a couple of things.
Should I pull my bed out from the wall more often and check to see what's been lost? What else have I hidden into corners to be forgettn until I move? And, maybe I should vacuum behind there more often.
I also recently stumbled upon MySpace and reconnected with friends from HighSchool. Friends that I assumed I'd run back into someday, but never have the connection we're hopefully re-building now. Who and what else is out there waiting for me to "refind" (yes I'm quite aware that I just made up a word).
What relationships can I rekindle? What shirts I can really put in the wash and add back into the wardrobe cycle?
Maybe someday all those socks I lost in the dryer will reappear in The Space Behind another bed. I know I'll keep looking.

Friday, January 27


Its safe to say that Spinning is still a pretty big "movement", "trend", etc. I know some people might be annoyed with it,
"what's the big deal?"
"Who cares? its just biking?"
"Spinners need to get over themselves"
I'm here to vouch for it.
The first time I tried spinning I had just found out that a beloved great aunt had died. I was pretty shaken up, but at work so I couldn't really express it. I had already planned to head to spinning after work as my workout- thank god. I'm sure if I hadn't already committed to going with a friend I would have skipped it headed home and been bummed out and depressed all night. Instead I was in this dark, cool room with loud base pumping an instructor yelling and all I had to do was move my legs. I could completely zone out and just sweat everything out, release. It was exactly what I needed. I was still extremely sad, but I had spun through a lot of the initial emotions that often cause you to check out as you process them. And, I had a found a great new workout. I felt exhausted, excited and refreshed.
I find that every time I go the feeling is the same. Thrill from getting through a hard workout, refreshed emotionally and physically, exhausted in that really good way, excited- the endorphins speeding around my head.
I also find that every time I go the feelings before are completely different. That's the most wonderful thing about it. I can go in feeling excited to spin, or completely exhausted or like I'm getting sick, or even in no mood at all to be in the class. At the end its always the same- I feel wonderful. Even if after I leave something comes up that really annoys me- I'll get annoyed for a moment and then all of a sudden find myself back in a great mood- those endorphins really do the trick.

So, clearly I went spinning tonight- and you know what I really didn't want to... but now as you can read... I'm so glad I did.


My head is so foggy. I seriously can't concentrate on one thing for very long. I've got a head cold. ugh. I felt it coming on last night, and went to spinning to try to work it out, and maybe I should have loaded up on Vitamin C last night and taken a couple echinacea- but maybe I also wanted to get the cold.

I was walking through the office earlier and thinking, maybe sometimes you need the cold to slow you down and force you to be sick and rest and get all the crap out of your system. Kate used to always get wicked colds at the end of volleyball season- and it was always the way she would finally slow down and take a break. Its the only way your body can get you to stop sometimes- because just thinking I should slow down doesn't always work... actually hardly ever. We're so good at convincing ourselves to keep pushing on, and crap at letting ourselves get the rest we deserve.

I'm sure a Dr. would say no you get a cold when you catch a bug not because your body is taking over the reins- but my head is just cloudy enough to convince myself its true. So, I'm going to probably be sick this weekend, and maybe I'll have to call in Monday- but after I've rested and gone through the sickness and its all out of my body, I'll be better for it.


Tuesday, January 24

In Between Times

I'm in an in between time right now. I realized this last night as I was tossing and turning in bed, don't you hate those nights? I also realized that in between times can be tracked, predicted, cyclical in some ways. This in between time is the place before settling in to a commitment and after stepping out to find it. In more concrete terms before the Boy and I settle in and after graduating and moving into the working world/out on my own.
It is always hard to exist peacefully in the In Between Time because all you think about is what you're waiting for. This is probably why I was tossing and turning. Can you fully BE in the present if you are constantly looking towards the future? Don't they say live each day as if it was your last. I'm not doing that if I'm living each day to get to the next.
In Between Times occur frequently throughout your life. There are those moments when you realize you've just accomplished a life milestone but its gonna be a couple of years until the next. If you haven't truly defined the next, then its easy to plug along happily, peacefully, looking for the next one. However, the In Between Time comes into existence when you've defined the next milestone and its still a long way off.
Think of the summer before Senior year in High School. Sure its a regular summer, but really its not because its about to be your Senior year of High School. But really its nothing special because its not Senior Year and its not the summer after Senior Year which is the last horrah before you move into adult hood, kinda. So its Summer and you should be having fun, but all you're thinking about is Senior Year and graduating and getting to that point.
I know I should be excited about what the future holds and appreciate how quickly this time is going to pass and that I will miss it, and I'm in an In Between Time and that's just where I am.

Sunday, January 22


They are classic, they are romantic, they are beautifully simple, and yet many women argue that they are too ordinary, too typical and claim to want "special" flowers. I too have been this woman, "Don't give me roses, I want something different!"
Roses have seemed to surround me lately, which is what has made me re-think my position on them.
I got them from a dear friend for my birthday (yellow, pink and white) and it was lovely to have them in the house. Then, the roommates BF dropped them off for her to get when she returned from a trip- they were purple- and lovely and romantic.
Seeing these made me think of the time the Boy surprised me with a dozen purple roses. I was surprised and excited and it may have come off as not as happy as he'd hoped. Regardless- I was. Unfortunately he gave them to me on a day I was traveling and I left them in the car accidentally and they of course died. I've always regretted that. Not only because I made him feel like I didn't like/want them, but because they were gorgeous flowers and I let them die without even getting to appreciate them!
Seeing the purple roses really made me want then again. Seeing the purple roses made me realize, roses are gorgeous, and a lovely lovely gift to receive. They still aren't my favorite flower, but I'll happily accept, appreciate and brag about getting them any day.

Wednesday, January 18

Lucky Star Bus

I went to NYC over the long weekend to visit the boy- unfortunately the way I get there is via the lucky star bus. This is a true trip into a microchosim of society that few get to visit- so let me help you through this post.
I usually try to get to South Station to board at least 30 minutes before departure time. They don't let you board until about 5 minutes before they are scheduled to leave, but I like to be one of the first in line so I can get a seat near the front (anyone who has taken busses frequently in the pass knows if you sit near the front you won't have to share the seat since people always head to the back to find seats). I suppose that makes me a special part of the social scene as well.
Anyway- a line inevitably forms behind me of other mute bus riders who just want to get on and get where they are going. For this reason I usually start using my IPod as I'm waiting, however this past time I didn't. This exposed me to the lovely woman who stood behind me and started chatting. She was clearly a bit of an odd duck. Started right in about how she does the bus trip every week from VT to NYC to go see some movies and sneaks food in? So odd. I just stood there nodding as she talked to my back.
So, because I'm first in line I get a seat right in the front of the bus, sweet. Loads of people pile on all heading to the back, just as I'd planned. About 2/3 of the way through the bus filling up- the odd duck from earlier- runs off yelling about there being too many people and she needs her ticket back, this isn't what she paid for- she can't ride with this many people. I watch as the young asian man who's "heading up" the operations that night try to handle her and think, for someone who rides this weekly- wouldn't you 1. expect it to be full (it always is) and 2. be used to it by now?
Anyway- although this is a little out of the usual for the Lucky Star- it was so worth pointing out.
Unfortunately someone sits next to me, just as we're getting ready to leave. She's skinny- so its okay and I settle in. As we head down the expressways- I notice the driver creeping closer to closer to cars in front of her. I can hardly ever read on the Lucky Star due to the constant braking and jerking from lane to lane. They do however avoid the furtherest left lane, so corteious.
The Lucky Star always stops at Roy Rogers on 84. There was one trip where I got fried chicken on the way down and back- it was good- but I can never do it again. It is always a mad rush off to the bus to get to the bathrooms- and the counter. I wouldn't trust the one of the bus, I've actually never had to use it- knock on wood. You would think the Roy Rogers staff would be prepared for the bus that seems to always stop on their many trips the time of which could be easily predcted and tracked.
It is during this stop that I always get to see the real demographic of who is on the bus. There is always a handful of Asian men and women making the trip to the city- you usually see them on the way back with bags and bags of cheap goods they've amassed over the weekend. There are usually a group or two of college freshman getting away for the weekend, they giggle a lot towards the back of the bus. I often see pairs of African American women and at least one African American family with their children. The rest are a smattering of young adults like myself- visiting friends, etc. This time there was a large group of seniors in highschool that looked like they were heading into the city to rave- I didn't know raving was still in.
Anyway- its always somewhat upsetting to have to climb back on the bus- by this point there is trash collecting and it is starting to smell a bit.
When you finally arrive on Chrystie St. its exciting that you've reached your destination- but it is still a bit of a trip to get to where you need considering the Train is a good walk away. I had to wait longer than usual for the boy to get me so I got to see who left with who and where they want. A lot of people walked off to find the Train, a few lucky ones got rides and others hailed cabs. And, lucky for me I saw the odd duck get off the fung wah and walk by me muttering to herself- thank god she didn't recognize me.
I've never really talked to anyone on the Lucky Star- I've oohed an awwed at babys and smiled at people if we both saw something funny. My streak broke on the way home. The girl sitting next to me started up after we boarded post roy rogers- it was actually really nice. Maybe I'll try it next time too. Here's to Presidents Day weekend and my next Lucky Star trip.

Sunday, January 15

More About Me

I'm copying this for another blog I read-

Welcome to the new 2006 edition of getting to know your friends. What you are supposed to do is copy (not forward) this entire e-mail and paste it onto a new e-mail that you'll send. Change all the answers so they apply to you, and then send this to a whole bunch of people including the person who sent it to you. The theory is that you will learn a lot of little things about your friends.
1. What time did you get up this morning? Initially at 8:30 to pee and then fell back asleep until about 10.
2. Diamonds or pearls? I'd take both, but not together
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? King Kong
4. What is your favorite TV show? House
5. What did you have for breakfast? 2 Blueberry pancakes with berry's on top, 1 egg, 1/2 a bagel with cream cheese and a med. latte
6. What is your middle name? Kathryn
7. What is your favorite food? oh god, I would have to say a good salad with a basic italian dressing and lots of salt... I love so many foods but this is what I could eat the most.
8. What foods do you dislike? Mushrooms and usually onions and red meat.
9. Your favorite Potato chip? all and i will just keep eating them until the bag is empty no matter how big the bag.
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? I'm still really into Leona Naess, but I just got Andrew Bird and I'm really into that.
11. What kind of car do you drive? '98 Jetta.
14 Favorite drink? I love Wine, been really into Pinot Noir.
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would it be? New Zealand or Greece 16.What color is your bathroom? Red and Tan Tiles with a Tulip Theme
17. Favorite brand of clothing? American Apparel T-Shirts, H&M Turtle Necks, Express Jeans 18.Where would you retire? Near my children/family.
19 Favorite time of day? When I can sette in and relax for the night.
21. Favorite sport to watch? Football- sad times that the pats are out of it.
24. What laundry detergent do you use? Tide
25. Coke or Pepsi? I try to avoid soda, its hard. Pepsi
26. Are you a morning person or night owl? a little of both
27. What size shoe do you wear? 8 or 8.5
28. Do you have pets? my parents do, I call the mine. An elderly cat, hopefully a siamese cat soon.
29. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with your friends? Unfortunately none right now
30. What (who) did you want to be when you were little? Strawberry Shortcake/Rainbow Bright
31. Favorite Candy Bar? Kit Kat
33. What are the different jobs you have had in your life? Camp Counselor, Co-Dir. Adventure Staff, Food Service Associate at Concord Hospital, Sears Sales Associate,Waitress, Waitress, Waitress, Hostess, Intern, Intern, Recruiting Specialist, PST Coordinator
34. Favorite season? Spring
35. Nicknames you've had? Adia
36. Piercings: Five. 2 in each ear and one in my nose
37. Eye color: Blue
38. Ever been to Africa? No
39. Ever been toilet papering? No
40. Love someone so much it made you cry? Of course.
41. Been in a car accident? Yes
42. What's a question no one has ever asked you? What has hurt you the most in your life
43. Favorite day of the week? Saturday, full of possibilities.
44. Favorite restaurant? too hard to answer this quickly
45. Favorite flower? Gerbera Daisy
46. Favorite ice cream? Coffee
47. Disney or Warner Brothers? Neither
48. Favorite fast food restaurant? Burger King. Love their Chicken Fingers
49. What color is your bedroom carpet? No Carpet.
50. How many times did you fail your driver's test? Zero
52. Which store would you choose to Max out your Credit Card? oh god, one of the big ones Neiman's, Saks, Bloomies
53. What do you do most often when you are bored? pick my cuticles, bite my nails
54. Bedtime: weeknights, between 10:30 or 11:00
56. Last person you went to dinner with? Matt
57. Ford or Chevy? Chevy
58. What are you listening to right now? Beginning of the Colts, Stellers game
59. What is your favorite color? Blue or Red.
60. Lake, Ocean or River? Lake
61. How many tattoos do you have? None
62. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Egg
64. Favorite Cocktail? a Peppercorns Lemon Drop
65. Red or White wine? Red
66. Where would you go for a girls or boys weekend get-a-way? Spa
67. What do you want to be? Successful in life, love, career
68. Republican or Democrat? Democrat
69. Favorite Family Vacation? Costa Rica

Tuesday, January 10


It seems that everyone always says breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
They say that if you skip breakfast you'll eat more throughout the day- now there have been times when I've felt this was true. One of those days where your run around crazy in the morning, setting up for a meeting or preparing handouts which means standing over the copier and collating to paper clip something delicate that can't be stapled, etc and by the time you know it- its noon and you're ready for lunch- and its a free lunch with dessert and hell why not have two cookies- you didn't have breakfast, remember?
Back in high school when it was time to take the SATs they drilled into to us that having breakfast in the morning of was of the utmost importance. Almost saying, "if you want to do well, get into a good school and be successful in life- of all days on this one eat breakfast."
My point is, all these things have really stayed with me. I really make breakfast a priority. If I wake up on the weekend and its edging on the cusp of lunch time and I need to go to the gym- I go later, so I can be sure to get breakfast in.
Sometimes I'll plan days around going out in the morning for breakfast, there are so very many great choices for the morning meal.
Omelets with anything you can think of in them- why is that eggs go with everything!?- Eggs cooked in many other ways with sides of yummy meat (I actually prefer the turkey versions of those meats but know quite a few people who adore the pork versions) and breakfast potatoes (hash browns (with cheese!), home fries, pan grilled mashed potatoes (mmm soundbites style), Bread products that are delicious with butter, jams, cream cheeses, French Toast, Pancakes with berries or chocolate or other fruit... Its all GOOD.

This morning I called Matt to wish him well on his final (leftover from the end of last semester due to the strike) and found myself having this conversation:
"Are you going to have breakfast?"
"What! You have to eat breakfast, you'll do so much better if you do."
"Oh, I have to go- I've got another call coming in."
"Okay, good luck on your final and have a good breakfast!!!"

Monday, January 9


I was in the woods this weekend, xc skiing. Winter is just as beautiful as Summer, I decided. Picture yourself, on soft fresh powder gliding through a pine forest, each tree dotted with fresh white snow, a bright blue sky beyond it and soft bright sunlight streaming through the branches. That is why I need New England seasons, because each one gives you a change to stop and reflect on the beauty that surrounds you, us, everyday. Sure its a pain in the ass to live in a city like Boston during the winter months, especially when it snows an the city is inept at removing it. But god, when you're out in the wilderness skiing across a frozen pond covered in soft white snow the sun light warming your back and the bright blue sky in front of you- how could you not love it?

Saturday, January 7

I wrote a poem today while skiing on a snow covered lake...

a leaf blown onto the pond
Softly piercing the white powder
It glistens in the sun light
and the leaf edges
forming the points of a star
A beacon
of a season gone past
A symbol
of the vast
simplicity that winter brings