P.S. Another Warning

So, I watched P.S. I Love You last night, despite the warnings of several people including another blogger.
I read the book and loved it, it was touching in just the right way- but also hopeful and funny.
The movie really just kept ripping your heart back open just after it had started to feel hopeful.
From the first scene I knew it wasn't going to be good, but I had to keep watching, I had to give it a chance. How could Hilary Swank be so bad? Lord knows, but she was. I really enjoyed Lisa Kudrow and Jeffrey Dean Morgan.
The moral of this post is, that I shouldn't have watched this with Matt out for the night. God does it slap you in the face with a reminder of the fear we all have of losing the one we love, the one we've chosen to share our lives with.
Of course I'm always thinking about the fact that we don't know how much time we have with any loved one. Watching my Mom lose the love of her life has made me wary of what loving someone with so much of yourself can do, but going through that process also made me incredibly thankful to have found it and to have watched my parents share it so I could model my own relationships that way. All I wanted, as the movie would nose dive in to sadness and deep loss, was to hold Matt and know that I still had him. I guess if it did one thing well it was portraying what the bottom is like, but it did it so sporadically and just when you started to feel a bit better with Holly, I wasn't a fan of that, it was inconsistent and nothing like the book. I want to be with a character as they learn and grow through a process that I can relate to, on any level. This was more like- strap yourself in for this roller coaster ride of emotions with a character you can't relate to because she hasn't been built up well. No thanks, I want a refund.

So, when Matt did come home I greeted him with open arms, so happy to see him. I pulled him in close and tight, and then I quickly pushed him away.
"What did you have for dinner?"
"A burger with onions and avocado."
"Yep, it's the onions."
At least I had him back in my sights if I didn't want to hold him too close.