Wednesday, January 16

I Got Nothing

I'm a total blank slate lately. I want to write, I want to be creative and thoughtful and yet- nothing is coming to me.
I've been devouring chic-lit, maybe it is contributing to my dry creative well. Not that there's anything wrong with chic-lit.
There are some other things on my mind besides how Darcy is going to change in to a better person in "Something Blue".

I'm interviewing a prospective Clark student on Monday as part of her application process. I feel so old. How could I really be qualified to do this? To help Clark in some tiny way make a decision about this Senior in High-School makes me feel old, and adult like. I guess that's a good thing.

I'm dress shopping on Saturday. I'm excited to look for and hopefully find the dress that will make me feel bridal and comfortable and elegant all at the same time. I put off the shopping to lose weight, and I did lose a little, but the holidays did me in man- and even though Matt's mom told me that I look great and she's so excited to watch me try on dresses I feel like a heifer (I'm sorry this is so typical, omg I'm soo fat- but I told you, I've got nothing!) and I don't feel like trying on dresses that are woefully already too small and feeling even more fat. Maybe it is time to hire a personal trainer- which brings me to my next I've got nothing rant

I've got no money. This one I actually feel on top of and in control of. The holiday's did me in on this front too- but I'm back in charge and not eating out a lot, passing up on ski trips and group outings to spas to save up. I started looking in to hotels in Hawaii, and we are going to have to really save to afford the trip- which I think will be well worth it. I can't wait to have two incomes!

I surprise my self daily with how happy and in love Matt and I are, not that I ever doubted us or our relationship- but damn it feels good to be as giddy and excited as we are about each other everyday. Last week on the day of my companies holiday party, I went to the bathroom and while peeing (is that TMI?) I found myself smiling and getting excited that Matt was meeting me at the party later and I'd get to spend the night with him, and introduce him to people. Most nights all I want to do as the clock creeps towards 6 is rush home and be next to him on the couch. I'm so damn lucky.

No comments: