Tuesday, December 30


I feel the brick in my chest. The loss is filling me again. 2 plus years and the hole doesn't feel as big day to day. It has been awhile since I've felt it this large, this looming.
Maybe it is the time of year, birthdays a day apart and all the holiday family time, maybe it is just having sent an email to a friend who's Mother died 3 weeks ago, maybe there is no explanation.
Another birthday, another year, many many more things that go unshared, untold, unexperienced together.
I want the little things back, like sharing new music, discovering new artists together.
I want the big things back, like having him walk me down the aisle and dance me away at my wedding.

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