Wednesday, December 10

And then there was 1

Every morning between 9:30 and 10:00 I hear our neighbor open his door, step outside, shut the door and then lock it up. Clearly he is going to work. Every morning I sit inside in my pajamas, either on the couch or at my computer and I think, I wish that were me.
This week started Matt's 3 month Temp gig. It got me thinking more about returning to work, what that will really feel like. It is easy to hear the sounds of it occurring, to even see it when I've been out of the apartment early, and think I want it.
Yesterday, for the first time since the wedding, I had the apartment to myself for the day. I was both lazy and productive. I went grocery shopping, I cleaned the apartment and I read and watched TV with a bowl of popcorn. It was kind of fantastic. It was almost like I was getting to enjoy this freedom (that comes with a big cost) with a fresh perspective. It almost made me think that going back to work is going to be damn hard. Almost.
When I start to think about waking up earlier, making my way to the same place daily and being productive for 8+ hours five days a week a small part of me thinks, ugh back to the grind. An even bigger part of me thinks, "yes please". I know that once back in the work force I can look back on this time and appreciate it with a new lens, I can have vacations again and not feel guilty, I can have sick days and days off and relish in laying on the couch all day. I'm ready for the shifted perspective. Even if my empty apartment is giving me limitless possibilities of how to spend my day, and it feels kind of nice.

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